This Lullaby Whispered Through Speakers into Late Night Hearts and Heavy Dreams.

I open my eyes and close them at the same time. Begging for you to be here and begging you to disappear. I don't want/need the distraction of your lips on my neck and your hands wrapped around my throat. Scream out into the night that you love me. One more little white lie wont make a difference. The list grows every day, the names. Mine is the last on the list penned in the lifeblood of shattered hearts and broken dreams. This Lullaby whispered through speakers into late night hearts and heavy dreams.

music vs. you

just one more unfullfilled dream
except at night
when the music pumps through the speakers into willing ears
but can't fill the already full hearts
and reflects in starry eyes dazed by the lights and the fame
too good to be true vs. it wasn't there in the first place

Im standing on this stage
ready to be gutted and hung on humorous gallows
my heartstrings are wrapped tight around my throat
and you have every intention to watch me choke
the morbid irony of late nights vs. the distance between us.

The Curse of You

the words coming out of my speakers
are just to damn apt to apply to this situation
eyes closed lips pressed close
just one touch means more than most
promise you'll never leave me
promise you'll always be.
promise me you aren't just a dream.
you'll never know the butterflies you give me

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions what is the road to heaven paved with?

Instead of making it we're breaking it
hearts crumble left and right at our fingertips
we latch on tight and take you along for the ride.
down a road paved with not so good intentions.

The Rubber Band Effect

you said I was just rebound.
baby you dont know half the truth in that
I'll come back into your arms everytime.
and sting as I do
a snap back to daydreams and late night fantasies.

"Threw Caution to the Wind, But I've got a Lousy Arm

My eyes burn from the salt in these open wounds.
Drowning all my fears in the release of tears.
Tomorrow I wont be able to say "its all better."
But for now my eyes run wetter Than you'll ever know.
It breaks my heart to leave you behind.

"Its a strange way of saying that I know Im supposed to love you."

I said I wanted to yell him for hanging on her.
When all she ever did was hurt him.
No need to tell me to turn those tables.
I already regularly beat myself up over it.
Whats worse?
Having been lead on to be loved
Or never loved at all.
Is it wrong that I love you?
Or just a case of not knowing a good thing when I see it.

freedom approaches.

it has been pointed out to me that in exactly 13 months.
I will be 18
I can finally get out of this fucked up relationship
but im terrified.
I cant do this
as much as I await that day
I wish it would never come

"I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you."

one more broken heart
on one more torn sleeve
but I'll give it to you anytime you want
beyond all reason
I will always love you
the Damage of falling has already been done
Why climb the ladder of sainity
to just risk falling again
this time harder.
Whatever it takes to keep you around.
ask anyting of me and I'll try my best
I dont know where I would be if I lost you
though its not like I ever had you to begin with.

The Notebook in my Pocket Holds my Darkest Secrets

the only thing that seems to hold my tounge is your mouth.

I wish I could hate you
but all my hate is wasted on myself.
It would all be so much easier if I didnt care,
but my mind cant bare the thought of not dreaming of you.
You are always in my heart and on my mind
what a pleasant weight of you on top of me.

Grin and dont bare it
just dont let them know how much it hurts
be honest to a fault lets get ready to rumble
quake my world
all it takes is a little bit of friction

I only write when Im miserable
and darling i have a whole novel devoted to you

you've created a monster
you told me to do it
and darling oh did I ever
I stalk you in early morning dreams
and in the hallways of your memories
In your bedroom
you'll find me wearing nothing
but my heart on my sleeve