Broken Doll

i can never do this right. each season i mess everything up again. i try. i promise i do. but its never enough. sometimes i get lucky and scrape by. im so tired of trying. im so tired of going nowhere fast. give me a crown for being the queen of fuckups. i wish i had the ability to blame. but there is noone left. oh poor baby's and im sorrys just dont cut it. i need some magic. three wishes are more than enough, i only need one, fix me. i wont open that bottle. that just makes me so much weaker. ive already crumbled once, i cant fix my word. i dont think i can fix me either. "broken doll" you called? my heroes cant stop this.

Pause

how low can you go. they really werent kidding. im so over this crazy limbo. everything is on hold yet the show must go on. take a bow and save the tears for the afterparty. prepare for backlash and fortune and fame.

Little.

Give me just a little. just a little bit. All im asking for is a little less space and a little more you. A little more Ahh's and a little more Ooh's. Just a little bit faster tempo a little bit faster, yeah you. Heart beats baby they make up this song, now let me hear yours a little louder a little more strong.

i totally slept in your hoodie last night.
it smells like you.

....if you actually read this you should be able to understand.....

Maybe Ill Wake Up Tomorrow And Forget How I Feel

babybabybaby

break my heart like a clock that just keeps on ticking and refuses to stop.

give me something to do if only just to pass the time.

click your heels.

blow me kisses.

color me outside the lines.

the same shit that i fall in love with is the same shit i cant stand

im not running in circles, but im still effectively going nowhere.

_ _ _ _

If i had all the riches in the world i still wouldn't be happy.

....

I'm many things to many people. but nothing important. Just the fact that you are hearing this is a start. Open your ears. Open you heart. To everything you ever wanted. Do me a favor and believe. even if you dont believe in your self believe that something amazing could be just around the corner. Through dumb luck, or hard work its always possible

This is me writing you and everything else out of my life.

I miss the memories like a broken heart and I loathe who I was. Everything has gone to hell. Its time for me to not think about you and what you did. Stretch my wings and learn how to fly. It seems easy, but have you ever tried? Leave everything behind. Spotlights. shine bright. Let someone please see me tonight. One face becomes another and to see you again would be earlier than I would have liked. Take this to heart in the form of a knife.

Old Freind. Free.

If I had a choice I'd still be there. even if I was would you still ignore me? would you say you dont care and never did. throw me out with everything that was so last year. I go well with the vitntage you. oldfashioned and useless. File me under "Opps... well that was a mistake." forsake good times and better memories for what?

From Thirty-six Thousand Feet....

Baby, the world sparkles from up here. The stars don't shine nearly as brightly as the city lights in naive eyes. soon enough the smog and acid rain cloud and burn those bright eyes. but you'll never leave. It will leave you pinning for a fix and for rehablilitation of innocence. So close to everyone else. "Get out of my head" The city of angels has fallen. Just scratch the surface and realize that it has taken every bit of you and yet it is still empty.

So Many Things I Had Forgoten About

you're driving me out of my mind, out of my head and out of this town. For a while you were my anchor but even the greatest ships have to move. a strong enough storm can move anything

Runaway

She wants to run away. Run far away from this place. To feel her feel hit the pavement and scream “I’m free.” Run to that horizon that she’ll never reach. She doesn’t care anyway. She’s only running away from all of her problems. She doesn’t care anyway. She’ll never go back except to send her love back in bomb threats. Her heartstrings wrap around her throat, anchored back at what should have been called “home” and every step makes her choke. Home is where the heart is but she never had enough heart to call it home. A toast to every little thing you’ve ever wanted and a toast to living without them. She broke those strings and flew away, wax wings. She reached for the stars but only made it to the sun before those wings lost their will. She tumbled back down to reality with a resounding thud. She picked up her bruised heart and stared ahead. The road is straight and smooth, its her that is broken. The road less traveled is just a detour from the easy way out. Everyone reaches for those stars and the select few that are able to grasp them have done so through using others as stairs. The reason gets lost in the rhymes and starry eyes. It’s all so utterly pointless. An effort for something greater than any of us will ever be. Turn her pockets inside out and dump those skeletons out on the road. They’ll be better company than she’s had in years. She’s going out of her mind and in all honesty she never wants to come back. No one would miss her anyway. She’s running away.

Emblematic

At the best of times I'm confused. At the worst of times im lost. I'm Just one more broken soul and recycled heart, damned to hell from the start* I have a one-shot story with an unhappy ending. If I said I could see the future cleary I'd be the best liar you will ever know. I've got loads of charm but nothinmg deeper than what you can see. Nothing can bring me down. I'm already there.





*Taken From "The Vampire Lestat" by Anne Rice